Minus the Klonopin

Since my last post, I spoke of my hair loss. I also spoke of getting pregnant as a result of my hair falling out. Well, since my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant, I decided to taper off of the Klonopin. I mean, I hardly too much of it to taper off of it - I took 1/4 of the lowest dosage prescribed to me. When I had gone back to work, I took the 1/4 in the morning to get me through the day. When I thought I might have the chance of becoming pregnant, I tried to not take it at all.

This helped me change my way of thinking, which helped me, psychologically, not get nervous? I seemed to have developed a way of dealing with my anxiety in order to not take any medicine. I started a new job, retail, and was so proud that I didn't need to take my Klonopin in order to get through the day. I have NO idea why I "all of a sudden" didn't feel the need to take it. I had been doing so well a few weeks prior, trying to take it every few days, or as needed, that I just stopped thinking about taking it.

Everyone talks about the horrible withdrawal effects of discontinuing Klonopin, I thought I'd taper off with caution. Now, I was on such a low dose, I probably didn't even need to worry about it, but I played it safe just so I wouldn't have a reason to get nervous. I did fine! I stopped altogether. Between the middle and end of October, I think I took a quarter of a 0.25mg tablet once.

Since then, I haven't taken any! I had NO problems getting off of the med. I hope this gives anyone hope, regardless of what dosage I had taken. For about a month, I have not even taken anything.

My panic attacks left as soon as they had started. It's the strangest thing that I have no explanation for. Maybe getting out of the house helped. Confidence? I know it's tough getting out the house, being home bound for so long. I really just can't explain it. The only thing I am "nervous" about is, how fast it left, how fast it could come back. I'm not terribly worried, like I normally would be, mainly because I have confidence in how I react to my panic. Yay!


Tests never lie, right?

I haven't written in a while; I've just been really busy - plus, every time something new came up, something newer would happen, so I just became overwhelmed.

Last time I posted, I believe I spoke about my hair loss. The doctor, of course, told me it was stress. My blood work came back fine.

Here's the deal: I've had abnormal thyroid tests before, but when they see they big ANXIETY label on my file, everything results in STRESS. I'm sorry, but I've had panic attacks since I was 16 years old (stress and fears since I was 6). I've never had my hair fall out.

So what are my options now? It could possibly be:
  • Anxiety
  • Hormonal
  • Thyroid
  • Natural (Hair is regenerating)
  • Pregnancy Failure
  • Hair dye?
Everything could be fine, but the fact my doctor automatically tells me it's stress (when he's seen me two times), pisses me off. Or I could be wrong.

I'm not sure how long it takes hair to go through a "regeneration" stage, but my hair has still been coming out a lot. It isn't coming out in chunks, but it's noticeable, like when when I brush my hair, or I find it on my clothes or the floor, or pull out strands that pile up in the shower.

Back in 2009 my husband and I decided to start trying for a baby. We lightly talked about it, since we previously decided to not have any. Since we were getting older, we didn't want to wait to talk about it after the age of 35 because of complications (and it's tougher to get pregnant for some as they get older). Because of my anxiety and panic attacks, we really haven't been 100% on "trying" due to the circumstances. We pretty much decided we wouldn't take precautions, and if it happened, it happened. This makes me wonder if maybe I did get pregnant and it didn't "take", thus the hair loss. Several websites, as well as my doctor, said that could cause hair loss. There's no way of knowing.

I started this post a couple of weeks ago (today is 11/20th), and my hair loss hasn't been as bad. Stress, a failed pregnancy, change in diet - who knows. My blood work came back fine and that's all I can be happy about.